SamPratt.com

Virtual Graffiti: Historical Marker

Photoshopping by OuroborosX, on Flickr.

Corporate merger?

 

OK, they’re not actually merging. But for those reading and writing about Holcim/O&G’s neverending meddling with the fortunes of the Hudson area, their compound name is yet another cumbersome acronym... So for the sake of brevity, if not wit, this observer proposes the shorthand above, along with a consolidated logo.

Everyone’s a critic

Inspired by one critic’s whirlwind tour of Hudson...

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The last time I was in New York City, I had several vivid experiences which transformed me into an expert on the Big Apple.

First, I saw a young immigrant standing on a busy street corner, trying to hand out flyers for a nearby sample sale. Hundreds of passers-by were callously ignoring him. From this I concluded that New York City no longer welcomes immigrants.

Then I saw several panhandlers, plus a homeless man sleeping on flattened cardboard boxes. From this I divined that there are no more apartments, jobs or compassion to be found in New York City.

Next, I witnessed a taxi having a fender-bender with a delivery van. The drivers were screaming and making obscene gestures at each other. It looked like they might even fight! From this I made a firm vow never to drive or ride in a vehicle anywhere in the City.

While observing this fracas, a bus pulled up before me. My face was blasted with diesel exhaust from a large vent on its side. From this I determined that everyone in NYC will die young from lung cancer.

So instead I ducked into the subway. Immediately I noticed a lot of spray-painted graffiti on the advertisements. Also, people had scratched their names into the glass of the subway doors. From this I recognized with terror that I was surrounded by vandals.

Seeking respite from the streets, I visited a famous art gallery. There were no other patrons of the arts inside. The chilly receptionist did not even look up to acknowledge my presence. From this I perceived that the NYC art scene is dead.

Later, passing by a well-reviewed downtown restaurant, I saw a rat emerge from its dumpster, which emitted a foul reek of rotting food. From this I learned that one should never dine at a well-reviewed downtown restaurant.

I decided to leave immediately, and walked rapidly back to the train station. Along the way, a fire engine passed at high speed, a deafening siren clearing its path.

From this I realized that the whole City was on fire. I hastily bought a ticket for the next train out, and fled.

But my brief visit was not entirely wasted. I am now considered a local authority on New York City, and my friends love to to be regaled with stories of my hair-raising experiences there.

Virtual Graffiti: Hudson

A copyrighted feature of this website. Photosimulation: Columbia Street, Hudson (NY)

Virtual graffiti: Rhinebeck

A copyrighted feature of this website. Photosimulation: Rhinebeck, New York