Just when you thought Hudson officialdom could not be more absurd, along comes a story which makes you rethink that assumption...
For a few days now, my friend and I have been keeping an eye on a young starling. The starling fell from its nest at the Hudson station, and was almost crushed by passengers racing to catch the train. (Being a plentiful and non-native species, starlings are one of the few birds which are not protected by State or Federal laws; indeed, some people consider them a nuisance to be eradicated, but others find them cute and clever.)
Naturally the starling was dubbed “Amtrak.” Though very weak at first, he has grown rapidly thanks to a recommended food recipe—dished out with a turkey baster. He usually takes about three gulps, poops out the previous feeding, then settles down to digest. Throughout the process of getting him back on his feet, we’ve been careful to only handle Amtrak with soft leather gloves (though supposedly it’s a myth that these birds won't be accepted back if touched by human skin).
With an appointment to take Amtrak later this morning to a bird-rehabbing specialist in the County, we brought him (using a cage) for the second day in a row to the Hudson Waterfront to encourage the young bird to learn to hop, fly, forage and not be dependent on people.
Now comes the absurd part of the story...
It was starting to look like rain, and several Hudson DPW workers began noisily assembling some sort of stage near the gazebo. So we began packing up Amtrak and his gear—including the red-handled turkey baster, which was sitting on the long retaining wall at the back of the park. At that moment, a DPW truck rolled by slowly, then backed up. A City employee (whom I thought I recognized as crew chief Skip Weed) jumped out and barked out across the metal fence:
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
“Hanging out,” I replied, wondering what on earth was up.
“WHAT’S THAT SAMPLING EQUIPMENT YOU'RE USING?” DPW Guy demanded, pointing to the turkey baster sitting on the wall.
“That's a turkey baster,” I said, trying not to laugh... and started to explain that we were using it to feed a young bird on the mend, that we’d brought to the park for some R&R.
“WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” he interjected. (By this point, I was wondering whether I needed to show my birth certificate to hang out in the park.)
Bemused, I readily told DPW Guy my first name; whereupon he whipped out a cell phone, turned on his heel, and stomped away out of earshot. Shrugging at this belligerent-but-silly behavior, we finished arranging Amtrak’s cage in a carrying bag and brought him to the car to head out to the bird rehabber.
Heading up Front Street, we soon noticed in the rear view mirror that the DPW Guy had spun his vehicle around and appeared to be following us. Indeed, he turned when we headed up Allen Street, and again at the light at 3rd Street. He continued to follow us well out of town for a couple of miles; but eventually we lost sight of him around 9G and Middle Road.
Amtrak’s appointment went well; they said he appeared healthy and that he should be flying around and feeding himself within a week. Focused on the recovery of this very bright and amusing bird (some of them even imitate human voices like mynas, to whom they are related), we didn’t pay DPW Guy another thought.
At least, not until I got a call late this afternoon from a Register-Star reporter.
The paper wanted comment on an allegation made by Mayor Scalera. According to the reporter, Mayor Rick was claiming that Skip Weed of the DPW had reported me as being involved in some kind of “suspicious activity” involving buckets and shovels and other equipment down by the waterfront. According to the reporter, Weed also stated that I had “sped off” when he “said he was calling the police”; and that Scalera had asked the HPD to investigate by “reviewing videotapes” of the Waterfront area from this morning.
Again suppressing a laugh, I let the reporter in on the dastardly Turkey Baster Story, and he agreed that the whole thing was a non-story. I then put a call in to Chief Ellis Richardson (whom I’ve always found to be reasonable and non-alarmist) to let him know that the hard-working Hudson Police force need not waste investigative time on the feeding of a starling... Sorry to disappoint you, Ricky and Skippy, but I’ve got good-quality cameraphone video of my own of the two us with the bird at the Waterfront.
The whole episode is more amusing than annoying. But it does make one wonder if the DPW Guy has been watching too many CSI re-runs... and whether the Mayor has so much time and political bitterness to spare that he’ll reach for the Bat Phone to file a frivolous report to the busy HPD over a turkey baster—especially with two unsolved shootings in this small city. (What’re the laws about filing false complaints to the police, again, Rick?) It does also makes you wonder why City officials would be so worried that even a far-fetched theory about someone sampling soils from the Waterfront Park would result in such an overheated and silly response.
Next Thanksgiving, I might just have to send Hudson’s Mayor one of these as a present:
